Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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