Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
