was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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