is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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