I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
