Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
