I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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