so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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