So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize