I think i peed on brittanys purse
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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