after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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