i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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