your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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