Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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