the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
