You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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