The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she pinky promised me she was 18
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
