I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
