All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Honestly, you canโt tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize