just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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