HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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