I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
