You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
