I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
