Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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