She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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