help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
