i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
