i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
