Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
