I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
