we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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