does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
