So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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