Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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