glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
