She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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