You're so nebulous sometimes
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
