I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize