If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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