im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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