Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
