My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
