Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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