Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize