Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
