I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
