Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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