Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
