It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
