Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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