this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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