im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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