You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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