I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
