I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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