you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
