I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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