it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize