I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize