This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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